Throwback #IVF2

In November 2009 we started with our second IVF procedure. At this point it did not take much to rub me off the wrong way. More so because this was between me, hubby and the doctors - it got lonely at times. I took the injections as instructed and on one of the days the injection would not prick my stomach, I had a meeting and had to inject myself in the parking lot due to the timing of the injection. I had done this so many times and to this day I cannot explain why I could not inject myself on that particular day. I broke down in the parking lot before I was to present to a panel of professionals. Just like the first one it worked and I was pregnant. We were cautiously optimistic this time. We knew how hard one can fall from glory and we treaded carefully. I lessened my workload and removed myself from any stressful situations at work. I was not allowing my previous losses and fears to keep me from loving this human being growing inside me. He was worth the attention and effort, if he was going to heaven I wanted him to know the sound of my voice because I reached my own understanding that if he never gets to see me the only thing he can identify me with when I get to heaven one day is my voice so I used every moment possible to communicate with him and let him know that there was so much love waiting for him. Four weeks later there was the dreaded sight of blood. My God! So I went home and I waited, morning came and the foetus had not expelled. We prayed for strength and peace. I put my hand on my stomach and I surrendered – a few hours later it was all over.