#Adoption: Motherhood is not a fairytale

Having gone through an incredibly gut wrenching infertility struggle I had a heavenly dream of what motherhood would be like.  I mean I had been waiting for my children for forever and I was certain that they would be these sweet, non criers and that after all the hurdles we had been through to find each other everything would just fall into place the minute we laid eyes on each other.  I could not have been more wrong!!! The first few days were ok, I was ready and prepared for every whim or sign of discomfort but then it hit me, oh crap they are here!

Other people have the 9 months luxury and yes I do call it that, to bond and prepare emotionally for what is to come.  They feel the baby move inside them and even when they puke they take it with pride because with every puke they can confirm that the life inside them is growing.  I did not have that - everything was as technical as it could get.  Others just have to sign hospital and state papers, for me everyone was all up in my business and then boom! I was a mother to twins.

The fairy tale soon proved to be a lie! It was like I woke up to the realization that I had been lied to, just like with the Barbie syndrome where all girls grow up aspiring to have a Ken and drive that Barbie sports car and what about her mansion? the truth is Barbie is not the norm she is an exception to a very tight and uncompromising rule.  

Baby magazines, websites, pregnancy stories on line could not have prepared me for the emotions I was going through in the first few months when the twins arrived.  I loved, nurtured and protected them just like a mother should but truth is - It was damn hard.  So there you have it my sisters, I'm telling you the truth and nothing but the truth - Motherhood is the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me, it taught me about a kind of love I never even knew was possible for any human being.  Even the smell of my kids makes me fall insanely in love with them every single day, but Damn it - MOTHERHOOD IS NOT A FAIRY TALE